Life of a Tally Mom

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love. I am told love does not divide, but multiplies. That is certainly true in our family’s case. I loved my husband with my whole heart, before children. Then when we had our first baby suddenly I loved them both with my whole heart. I know mathematically that does not make sense, but emotionally it felt right. Two years later, our second child came and  I suddenly loved three people with my whole heart. How was that even possible? Somehow it was possible, and it felt right. Now we are expecting baby #3. We are due in August 2012. This love that multiplies will need to grow a bit further because this baby is coming in 6 short months and there will be a whole other human in our lives who will require our energy, our time and our attention. ….love always hopes…

This pregnancy has been rough on me. Two full months of all-day sickness means that at any moment my stomach revolts against me and stops me in my tracks. With two small children in tow, sometimes that means losing one’s lunch on the side of the road after pulling the car over, while being assaulted by a cacophony of empathetic crying and upset tears. Sometimes that means having to cancel play-date plans in favor of staying home and hugging the porcelain throne while the kids watch movies all day……Love perseveres….
First trimester tiredness, coupled with chasing two other kids around means I NEED a nap everyday. Without a daily nap, I am snarky, impatient and easily bothered by the small things. Normal developmental milestones, like inquisitiveness in my toddler and his desire to experience life by touching everything becomes annoying. My daugther’s near constant refrain of “Can I watch you (fill in the blank here) mommy?” while cute at 9am, becomes tiresome at 5pm when dinner isn’t on the table yet because she insisted on watching me cook, which takes extra time.   ….. Love is patient…..

The kids are growing and learning and thriving. We are learning together, and they are blooming into wonderful children. I am received positive feedback about how my preschooler interacts with other children and adults when I am not around. I try to help my children practice manners and good listening skills at home. I can not abide rudeness in children (or adults). I hope that she will use these skills while out of my supervision. And she DOES! It’s amazing!. ….Love is kind…it does not dishonor others….

I haven’t been to Zumba in 3 weeks. At first the nausea stopped me from going. Then the kids had colds, and we were all feeling under the weather. Then the fatigue hit and mornings became extremely hard for me to deal with. By the time I woke up the kids, dressed then, packed a toy bag for them, fed them breakfast, brushed their teeth, got dressed myself, put them in the car, buckled their seats, drove the piddly little distance to the studio where the Zumba classes are held, unstrapped the kids, took them and all their gear and mine inside, took them to the childcare room..and phew! I had no energy left to actually work out. I had expended it all just getting us all up and out the door on time. I have no excuse now, the kids are getting up earlier on their own. I am close to my second trimester, when most women feel better and more energized. I need to go back. I miss it. I also had intended to walk my first 5k this past weekend and due to icky stomachs and my son not feeling well, I did not go. I have been so bad at walking/running lately. I am such a slacker. I told myself I would keep it up, but alas this has not come to pass. I need to do better for both my body and for my baby. I need to turn over a new leaf and start working out again. This pregnancy defiantly derailed my fitness plans…Love keeps no record of wrongs….

My husband encouraged me to keep writing on this blog. To not let it fall by the wayside. He has been strong in my moments of nausea. He has helped with foot rubs, back rubs and cooking dinner. He has picked up the slack when it comes to laundry. I have totally ignored the piles, and he had washed, dried and even *gasp* folded and put away more loads than he would care to remember. He has done so lovingly and without fanfare. He tells me I am beautiful and reminds me everyday that he loves me. ….Love is not self-seeking…

For there are these three things that endure: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Our home is a 3 bedroom 2 bath, with a living/dining room and kitchen all squeezed into 1,080 square feet. (It is actually 1,100 but 20 square feet of it is a storage space for a water heater and a few yard tools with outside access door only.) To say that space is at a premium is a gross understatement. Some days, I long for a bigger home, for the sake of more living space for the kids. Other days, when every room is messy I know a bigger house just means bigger messes, more rooms to clean, and more space to store junk we don’t need and would never use.

Our third bedroom is the smallest, and has never been used as a bedroom. Instead we called it an “office” and put our computer desk and bill paying paraphernalia in there. We stored our numerous reference books and novels, CDs and DVDs, computer software, etc on two massive bookcases. My husband stores his tools in there. I stowed my extra purses, diaper bags and laptop/work bags. Then we added a dog to the family, and we stored the extra dog food in there as well.

The closet in that room became a hassle, as it often avalanched its contents on anyone who dared to open the door and peer inside. Over the past 4 years, we have slowly and subconsciously added more and more stuff…..a desk for me….a sewing machine…..tons of fabric, skeins and skeins of yarn, a vacuum cleaner, a carpet steam-cleaner, an ironing board, our wireless internet router….on and on the list went…..until one day I realized….the room was no longer functional.

It had become a junk room. A storage room. No one EVER went in there without a purpose. It was a room to enter only when you needed to retrieve an item and then leave as quickly as possible, before something fell on you or you broke an ankle tripping over something on the floor.

Seriously folks, it was BAD!

A junk room in a house this tiny. Oh, no, no, that would not do at all.

Months passed…..and still the room was a mess….

But slowly, ever so slowly…..little by little, my goal to make the room functional again was coming to fruition. 

My husband did his part. He moved his office and bill paying station to our master bedroom closet. I seriously paired down my stash of yarn and fabric. I took all the DVDs and CDs out of their cases and put them into zippered storage books. The books and novels were pared down as well, and what remained- the books we just could not part with-moved to a small book shelf in our bedroom closet. We still needed to clear out tons of JUNK. So with the help of my dad watching the kids one day, a family friend helping another day, my mom helping me organize one evening, and TallyDad tidying up the floor debris from time to time, the room is finally functional.

Is it less cluttered? Most assuredly YES!

Is it done yet? No, but progress HAS been made. A lot of progress.

Is it pretty? No. Well…… not yet.

But we are already enjoying time in there.

My vision is a visually appealing room that incorporates both storage and a comfortable spot for the kids to enjoy. We NEED storage for crafts supplies (fabric, yarn and sewing supplies), homeschool supplies (books, markers, worksheets, paint, paint brushes, pencils, paper etc), dog food/water bowl and the family wireless internet router. All those have found homes in the new reorganized room.

So far, the kids has a small table in the room, on which they do a variety of things including drawing, worksheets, and school activities (playing with unifix cubes, worksheets, practicing letters, etc.).

The kids have really enjoyed having extra space for art and play. They walk in and out freely….in a slow and leisurely pace. They come in and sit down, linger a while, color a picture, visit with the dog while he eats his breakfast, keep me company while I sew.

This room is not finished, and not a fashion statement, that’s for sure, but it is usable now…and sometimes…… it’s the simple things…….. like spending a few happy moments, in a newly discovered room….. that make life grand.

Our kids are thoroughly enjoying the wide variety of paint colors that we now have. So many in fact that they can now have a “paint palette” to choose from.

As much as I love the  cost efficiency of just owning primary colors, yellow, blue and red. It is rather a bore having to mix paint each and every time, just so the kids have green for grass, or brown for dirt. Their creativity blossomed.

Not only was the paint applied to their paper, but also to hands, faces and ears.

As much fun as this requires a bath afterwards. So into the bath they went. Bath time still astounds me, as they play quite well together and separately. Each with a beloved toy or two, a washcloth and waves of splashy fun.

Later on in the evening, after the sun had set, and picture-taking requires a flash, my daughter discovered the joys of “reading” her Jesus Storybook Bible by turning the pages and making up stories based on the rich, vivid pictures. Her brother wanted to look too, and sat beside her. Peering intently at each picture, as his sister turned the pages and made declarations such as “This is when Jesus was a baby.” and “This is when god sent the frogs to Egypt.” 

After a few minutes of conversation and discussion between the two of them, my daughter holds up the book, shows me a picture and says “Whoa! Mom, look! It’s an angel!”

These are the days I cherish. When my kids are grown, and just my husband and I are “empty-nesters”. I know I will look back on these days…. the sacrifices we make as a family, for me to stay-home….the time we have sacrificed from our own lives, when we decided to homeschool……the fractured sleep…..

For days like this…..for moments like these…….. it makes it all worth it.

2011 was a BIG year for our family.

So many things happened, but here are a few highlights.

January- I quit my job and became the kind of mom I wanted to be. We started attending the Homeschool Playdates at the park on Thursdays. I made mama friends, and the seed of homeschooling my children was planted in my heart.February-I started consistently buying produce from farmer’s markets and local sources.

March- I was bitten by the crafting bug. This short-lived book sling was the result.

April- Visited the fire station with the kids and our attachment parenting group. So much mama-to-mama networking happened here! I wrote my first blog post,( on a now defunct site) and made Cinnamon Rolls from scratch for Easter.

May-Our family took a road trip to Chicago and visited family for a week. We had a great time.

June- I planted vegetables in my first raised bed garden.

My daughter turned 3!

We officially started homeschooling.

July- Our son took his first steps.

We joined a homeschool preschool Co-op. We made friends and really felt good about learning with these kind and generous folks.

August- Our son turned 1!

September- Celebrated one year since my parents moved to Tallahassee. LifeofaTallyMom.com got a home on Facebook! Click here to become a friend.

October- I turned 28! Halloween was fun with a giraffe and princess this year. Grandma treated the kids to pumpkins from the patch.

November- I started a Couch to 5K Program, and  Zumba classes. 

December- Us gals all agreed to participate in the Jingle Bell run this year. I finished my first 3K race! It felt so good to exercise with friends.

We vacationed in Alabama.

Our family was blessed beyond measure at Christmas.

Happy New Year Everyone!

I know 2012 will be another excellent year.

After a fabulously simple Christmas, I am now thinking forward to the new year. TallyDad and I have already discussed a list of educational goals for our homeschool, and ways that I can best accomplish those goals, while still maintaining my sanity. ha!

Though I have NEVER been a schedule person, my husband feels that schedules can be very useful. So to that end we are trying something new. We are going to try a routine. My hope is that it will give me some structure and lead to an easier rhythm in each day. I have no delusions that everyday we will do each thing exactly on time, but I have high hopes that this will encourage me to dilly-dally and waste time less, and accomplish more.

Let me make myself clear, my children and their needs come first. If they are especially in need of a cuddle-on-the-sofa kind of day, we will shelve the routine for that day. If my toddler wants to nurse non-stop, then of course, the routine will adapt and change to meet my child’s needs. We will not be a slave to this routine, but instead let it work for us. Our family has already committed to certain activities that occur on certain days of the week, and those have been factored into this new routine.

How did I do it? I used the FREE spreadsheet tool on Google Docs and mapped out what I thought a typical day would look like: what activities we should be doing and at what time of day each activity could reasonably be accomplished. Then I sent my husband the link, so he could look through the document and make any changes he felt were necessary.

Things I included in our routine are:

1.  Specific Potty Times  (Throughout the day so there are no, or very few, potty accidents)
2. Specific Times for Homeschooling (Reading Skills right after breakfast, Math Skills right before lunch, etc)
3. Nap Time ( for the toddler and myself)
4. Quiet Time (for preschooler)
5. Clean-Up Reminders
6. Daily Chores
7. Outside Play Time
8. Appointments and Activities
9. Free Play Time
10. Exercise Time (for me)
11. Meals (and meal prep time) 

Whether this new routine will bring order to my days, or just cause me headaches, is yet to be determined. I promise to keep you updated on how this new routine is working for our family.

Some highlights of our Christmas day were:

• Watching the kids open presents this morning
• Enjoying them play quietly with their new toys
• Eating homemade chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs made by TallyDad
• Having both kids spontaneously take naps mid morning
• Spending a few minutes with my husband to watch “The Middle” on Hulu
• Eating delicious Enchiladas with Re-fried Beans and Spanish Rice
• Spending time with my parents and siblings
• Receiving gifts from my family
• Seeing my daughter with help from TallyDad ride her tricycle up and down the street, an eagerly anticipated present from Santa
• Chatting with the family about upcoming events in 2012
• Savoring my mother’s pork roast with roasted fingerling potatoes and carrots.
• Putting the kids to bed

I hope your day was as filled with good food and great company as ours was.

I wish you and your families joy and peace for this coming new year.

Merry Christmas,

TallyMom